I just realized it. There’s a sense of pain and disappointment. I was this girl who doesn’t care of what anyone says; who believes that things like love & relationships are not important; who bonds with her friends eternally because she thinks that they are giving her way more happiness than she expects. I was this girl who likes small crowds. I was this girl who understands everything. I was never insecure of myself. I never tried hard. I wasn’t that serious about life. I never had second thoughts because I was sure. I was sure that the people that I have were enough- that the things that we do were nothing but fun because we are young. There were no things in my life that broke me up. I was happy then. I was myself. 

Not that I’m saying I’m not happy now but things are a lot different. I miss my old life. I miss that.

Well, I guess, the forever part isn’t true after all, huh? I have accepted the point that we wouldn’t bond like the old times, that things would be different when you entered your relationship with your girl. I just thought that its okay for you to talk to me every once in a while, just to say hi, or ask how things are going? But the things I expected aren’t falling into place. I said Hi to you, one afternoon, and you said you’re not allowed to talk to me anymore. You made it sound so easy to say those words. That broke my heart, for heaven’s sake. I’m trying to understand but I just can’t. Maybe because I have loved you more than you have loved me. Maybe because I’m this stupid girl who tells everyone that you’re still my best friend while you’re on your good life acting like you don’t even know me. I don’t want to hate you because you’re one of the people who had given me unconditional happiness when we were together. You had shown me friendship that I thought I could cherish forever.

Remember when I asked you if you think we would still be best friends when we’re already on college? When we already have our own happy family? And you answered with no hesitations that we will surely do? Remembering those words take my pain for all these things to a whole new level. I don’t blame your girlfriend for this. I blame you. You have let me go so easily. And it hurts me more than anything. But I still wish you a good life. And I still thank you for everything, for our laughs and tears together, for the stories we shared, for the jokes that only us could understand, and for the bond that even all these things happened, I would still never ever forget. Goodbye Dave. 

*insert farewell song here* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Our relationship is like.. not really a relationship. HAHAHA. We don’t have a specific number to celebrate with. We don’t even consider monthsaries. And we love being weird. We do crazy stuffs together. Like, we have our own secret handshake. Hah! We’re still working on it though. Umm. We love playing thumb war, anywhere. As in anywhere. Even in the middle of a huge crowd on the mall. Haha. We’re fond of making video calls and he does crazy things just to make me laugh. Like, funny faces, doing front rolls, facing the wall, hugging the pillow imagining its me while rolling around and like everything. He’s special. He loves to kiss and hug me tight. He’s such a sweet kid. He even eats things that I already licked. He wakes me up when I need to wake up earlier than I’m used to. And the best thing about our relationship, I think, is that we’re fond of going to church every Sunday. We commit our own commitment to God. And I love that about us. 

I’ve been reserved these past few weeks on blogging because I don’t know what to say. I used to have many stories to share because I was really screwed up by this guy which by the way, I’m over now. Yes, I’m over him now, resulting to less posts and I’m sad about it. I’m thinking of posting about my newly found love but I don’t know. Words just can’t work out now. I’m disappointed, really. 

So, for now, HI! :)